Category Archives: Community

Foundations of Erotically Inclusive Community

Venus and Mars UniteWhat we will prove here:

  1. The purpose of all relating (communication/sensual interaction) is to meet human needs. – Self-evident
  2. Community was previously a support for meeting needs within traditional couple relationships and many other forms of relating as well. (Through religion, society, etc.)
  3. Community is either absent or rapidly disappearing for many people. (Displacement, breakdown of religious of societal structures).
  4. The “State” is currently performing many of the functions that were previously fulfilled by community, in a much less effective way. (Morality of state: CPS, ‘Divorce Court”…all enforced via violence.)
  5. Conventional dating doesn’t work, primarily because of the death of meaningful community. (Lack of context/structure, responsibility) It devolves into manipulation from one or both sides at some point.
  6. Many needs which are best fulfilled in community are currently being offloaded to the new (failed?) invention of the 1930’s-50’s: the ‘Nuclear’ family.
  7. Pressures on the nuclear family lacking community support almost always doom it to failure, regardless of whether it continues or not.
  8. The outcome of dating, even if “successful” is often extremely hazardous with only the State as arbiter of the relationship (and the third party to it).
  9. Many of the needs seeking fulfillment in sexual and romantic relating can actually best be met in community (security with freedom, creativity, etc)
  10. Restoration of structured community is our best bet for meeting more needs.
  11. More people = more resources to meet needs.
  12. In addition, communities of the future can take more responsibility for meeting needs of participants. Survival and safety being less urgent, more energy can be spent on ‘higher-level’ needs.
  13. Sensual, sexual, erotic, and intimate needs of people can be met in community.

We are dedicated to creating a sex/sensuality/intimacy-positive, friendly, open community.

Sexuality is one of, if not the driving force of humankind

In a community like this, we don’t shy away from, or run from sexual interaction.

The body is seen as sacred and beautiful, and we don’t fear it being used or abused by others. We create a safe context for sexual, sensual, and intimate interaction.

This does not necessarily mean that we allow every possible sexual interaction that anyone ever wants to have with us, but within the community that we encourage expressions and connection through sexuality.

The key to all these interactions is, first, to see sex and sexuality as energy and energetic exchange.

If the energy of sex and sexuality does not flow freely, there will be a limit to energy within the system that has manifested the sickness of the world you see around you.

This shows up as physical and psychological illness within humans. Environmental degradation and destruction. War and strife. Competition and division within communities, families, and individuals.

Hunger, poverty, economic inequality, gender and race strife, and every other issue that faces humanity comes from a fundamental lack of flow of basic energies including sexuality.

If you would shift that world, you must allow energy to flow freely within and through you.

In our interaction, the only things that we can do to serve us are to stimulate our consciousness and our energy. We do so with the understanding that our meaning and purpose is to create a better world of togetherness and love.

The simplest, easiest, most powerful way to access massive energy flow within yourself is to open yourself to ecstatic states within your own body, and to enable others to do the same thing in their bodies.

For this reason, we do not wish to concentrate on pathologies and returning to a state of equilibrium. We wish to focus on bliss and ‘ecstacisity’ as a path to transcendence and freedom.

If you no longer wish to live the existing paradigms which have been proven inadequate over and over again, instead opting for the transcendent reality of abundance which none of us has ever experienced, join us.

What are your true needs?

No child should leave school without having an understanding of their own and others’ fundamental human needs.

Yet, in conventional education, this topic is ignored at best, and suppressed at worst.

Did you learn what your fundamental human needs were in school? Can you provide a list of your fundamental needs now?

I certainly couldn’t back then. It is taken me years of study to find that there has been much research done about fundamental human needs. And this is incredibly important, because understanding fundamental human needs will help to interact successfully and  receive what we want from others.

Manfred Max-Neef has the best list of needs that I have found so far.

Although it is easy to come up with a list of 50 needs in any group, he has digested them down to only nine different categories.

Max-Neef classifies the fundamental human needs as:

  • subsistence,
  • protection,
  • affection,
  • understanding,
  • participation,
  • leisure,
  • creation,
  • identity and
  • freedom.

Reducing your basic needs down to a list of nine makes it much easier to consider which needs are being met and are not being met and to take action to get them met.

It takes interaction with others to meet many of these needs.

Here at Peaceful Living, we believe that by playing together, we can more effectively meet our own and each others’ needs.

Sign up for our newsletter now to learn more about our events to help you meet your needs.

From Chaos and Loneliness to Effective Community

True Tribe of LoveEvery single person has not been raised nonviolently must be treated as a wild animal.

They’re completely violent, out of touch with their own needs, afraid of being used and mistreated, unable to ask for what they want, unable to recognize when they do get what they want, And in many ways far worse than the wild beasts.

This isn’t their fault.
Even someone who has healed much and is highly skilled in communication will find it extremely difficult to relate to these creatures in any constructive manner.

They come from a situation where most of the rules were provided in childhood. Even those who claim to been raised in a very open manner will have been socialized with violence the point that most of their natural feelings and instincts have been completely suppressed.

Some mistakingly feel that they have been raised in an open manner, however, had they truly been raised in an open free manner in this society, there is little chance they would have reached adulthood. At the very least, they would’ve been incarcerated.

There is almost no way to grow up in an atmosphere of violence without having it permeate  us deeply.

During young adulthood, they try to find themselves, but without any fundamental understanding of their feelings and needs, they wander strange paths and are often lost.

Like the Amish children were encouraged to rumspringa when they become adults, they err on the side of too much, thinking that their needs will now be met through crazy behavior, but having no guide to a happy way.

This false dichotomy obscures true freedom.

Thus “straight is the gate and narrow is the way the leads to life, and few there be that find it.”

Attempting a relationship with someone who has no relationship with themselves is a very difficult endeavor. Compounding the issue is a lack of support which existed somewhat in previous generations through the local community or through family who lived close by.

And, with our societal “don’t ask don’t tell” policy of hiding our weaknesses and failures from others, it is even more difficult.

Because we are taught that the world is fundamentally competitive, we will hide our weaknesses in order to appear more powerful and procure survival resources.

We have been trained in “survival of the fittest” and told that those who wish to get ahead must be better than other people.

All this makes healthy relationships virtually impossible.

And this is to say nothing of relationship duress, lack of healthy relating examples, and lack of positive encouragement.

If we achieved our true power, we would pay no obeisance either to our political leaders, or to the “priests” who run society, be they actual religious leaders, or their proxies today: the medical establishment of psychologists and psychiatrists.

Our cues of what is healthy and normal are taught by those to control the mental health establishments, organizations created to control and direct human behavior.

And they are strongly influenced by financial interests, such as the pharmaceutical industry.

These powers have an interest in the functioning of society (to profit from), but not in the individual power and creativity of the members thereof.

This means of the information we receive about relating, connecting to our true power and inner authority, and our real authenticity is obfuscated in just about every way one can imagine.

This dominant culture surrounds us, like water does fish.

It takes almost a miracle for someone to discover the truth of relating, connection, and happiness in this environment.

So what is the solution?

The solution is to create a space of positive relating and healthy community, where support is provided to the “poor misled” above and beyond the nuclear family (an invention dating only back to the early 20th-century).

The typical mother and father+children household (even worse, a single mother or single father household) has an unnatural lack of redundance.

This is even more pronounced when there are children. If one of the two partners becomes incapacitated , a full 50% of the energy that was available to procure survival resources and support children is lost.

In single-parent households, a loss of the parent would result in a 100% loss of survival and child-rearing resources.

In the current societal structures, based on the hamster wheel of ever increasing responsibility and heavy debt of financial obligations, this structure is unsustainable.

It is true that the state can step in to help alleviate some of the financial burden, however there is little sensitivity available in the state to care for the complex emotional, spiritual, and creative needs of those in the family.

Why have we created such fragile structures for the most important missions of our species: creating happiness for all family members and fostering and environment for the successful upbringing of children? Especially when we understand how to create triply-redundant systems for airplanes that fly over oceans and continents?

It makes no logical sense except as a control mechanism.

Therefore, the only solution is to create a more redundant system of energetic support, more than the simple nuclear family.

After breakup of the extended family and the local community due to “moving where the work is” and destruction of ‘mutual support societies’, general disillusionment with spiritual systems provided the deathblow to any support the family had beyond its nuclear structure.

Every community, every tribe must have its rules and regulations. It must have a way that it functions and maintains order and unity in the group, as well as supporting the members in the group in getting their needs met.

The state is simply too large and unwieldy a structure for doing this in any meaningful fashion.

Therefore it remains for each person to decide to foster, create, support, and benefit from a central tribe or community that he or she chooses, fitting his or her values for the successful redundant support of meeting his or her own needs and those for whom he or she is responsible.

Due to the fact that humans have identical needs, it should be possible to create an unlimited number of tribes that can have their own specific rules and systems to support like-minded individuals in meeting these needs. In addition, these tribes should be able to support children more effectively by providing a multitude of models of successful behavior in the world, as well as redundant systems of procuring resources, ensuring protection and survival, education, outlets for creativity, and the fulfilling of all other human needs

The many abortive attempts and false starts in this direction only provide meaningful information to how to successfully create the tribe or community that does this.

Village Vision

Welcome HomeThe following is an open document describing a possible vision for our village. It may be updated as our vision updates!

Education

There is a village. And in this village there is a center of learning. And this center of learning is unlike any school that you have ever seen before.

In this center of learning anyone, young or old can come and ask for support and learning those things that he or she desires to learn.

The community provides support for anyone who wishes to learn anything inasmuch as it is possible.

Not only is everyone a possible student without regarding rank, everyone in this place is also a teacher.

Once someone has learned something, they realize that the greatest joy often comes from sharing what they have learned.

Those with great knowledge share with those with much knowledge. Those with much share with those of little. Those with little, share with those with none.

It is a perfect waterfall for knowledge to flow.

No one in the village claims to have any authority to know what is important for another person to learn. They may make suggestions, but no one is forced or coerced into learning anything.

The system is as powerful in helping people learn what they want as it is simple in its concepts.

Sex

Sex, sensuality, and intimacy are seen as fundamental needs in the village.

Just as with money, sex is not a sign of value within the village. It is not something that is used to hold power over others.

Everyone in the village understands that specific human needs are the same for all of us. And all the village sees it as their role to allow space for all needs to be fulfilled for each member of the village as much as possible. This includes the needs of sex, sensuality, and intimacy.

Money

Money is utilized in the village as a tool, if it all, and not a block.

To the extent that money provides information or useful structure for doing things within the village, money is used.

If money is used for dealing with those outside the village, it is acquired and expended in ways that will meet the needs of the village.

Money is seen for what it is, namely a symbolic form of energy that can be utilized for certain problems, or not!

It is never an excuse to allow anyone within the village to go hungry, or cold, or naked.

It isn’t used as an object of power, to compel others in the village to do what the leadership or the “wealthy” want.

It isn’t used as a measure of status–to show how important someone is.

It isn’t used by parents to hold power over children.

Most of the time, it is virtually irrelevant and largely invisible.

Children

There is a village. And in this village, children are not “raised”.

Children do not “belong” to anyone within this village. No one “belongs” to anyone else in this village.

There is space and freedom enough in this village for every person, including children, to choose what they will do and when.

Instead of using “discipline”, parents, adults, and everyone in the village express their feelings and needs, with support when necessary.

If someone does something that seems to cause someone else sadness or distress, they simply express this and ask that something different happen.

They never use violence, threats, blame, shame, guilt, punishment, or rewards to manipulate others into doing what they want.

Instead, they maintain true connection with those around them in sharing their feelings about what is happening as equals.

Healing / Health

In this village, everyone thinks primarily in terms of energy. Not money or time.

Because in this village, everyone thinks in terms of energy, healing and health care function much differently than our current system.

They view disease as a fundamental misalignment of the energy flow within a person or the group.

Instead of crudely attacking symptoms or violently engaging with the person having the disease, energy is used to support the person in reaching their alignment.

That energy may have many forms, many modalities. These modalities are usually fun, focused on consciousness, and allow the blocks to energy to be removed for the free-flowing of energy.

Disease and injury are also viewed as messages, with deeper information for the individual and the community to uncover. They are invitations to consciousness.

Money is understood as a very subordinate level of energy within the healing system. While it may be useful or even necessary to use the energy society gives money in some situations for healing, energy is the focus of healing efforts.

Harmony

The village does not have what one would consider a “conventional legal system”, with punishments, threats, and rewards.

Instead, there are processes of communication and mediation to help all people within the village find ways to get their needs met and restoration made for any damage that does happen.

No one is labeled “bad” or “evil” in this village. Everyone knows that everyone is basically good, has similar feelings and needs, and is trying for a good result.

Much of the conflict resolution is informal. Structures exist on every level for resolution of larger conflicts.

Food as Nourishment

In the village, food preparation, growth, and storage is focused around energy and sensuality (meaning: to the senses).

The body is an incredibly powerful tool for determining the appropriateness of a food for a specific individual.

The group does not enforce any morality around food.

Instead, powerful positive energies are utilized to enable food growth and preparation to be most energetically overflowing processes within the village. Pure, vital water is treasured.

Housing

Housing in the villages is created and altered according to the aesthetic desires of its occupants in harmony with nature.

Many of the techniques used might be considered arcane or archaic by those who are used to the structures and building methods used by society today.

One key value of the village is to provide each person within it with enough space to meet their needs.

Each person has the opportunity to create a space or spaces for themselves the matches their aesthetic wishes and fulfills their needs and desires.

Arts and Beauty

Arts and beauty within the village.

Rather than the financial constraints being the primary concern of the village, beauty, sensuality, sensory activation, and pleasure are a high priority for the inhabitants of the Village.

Therefore time and space exists to allow the members of the village to enjoy expression and creative pursuits however they wish, so long as this does not encroach upon the needs or desires of other members. But since they will talk about their feelings and needs, conflicts are easily and quickly resolved.

Leadership

This village is governed not by authority, godly decree, or military might. This village is guided and held by the feelings and needs of those within it.