Warning: This is a graphic depiction of conscious lovemaking. Only read this article if you are an adult and wish to see what conscious lovemaking might look like.
Sarah met John at a party. The chemistry was evident between them at the first moment. Emancipated woman that she was, she invited him back to her place.
She lit a few candles and put on some music and soon enough it began its work-and they found themselves making out on the couch.
She took him by the hand to lead him to the beautifully decorated bedroom. She whisked off her dress and soon he was naked as well.
She kissed him with quick darting of her tongue, and it felt good to him. He kissed and sucked her lips and her tongue more deeply.
She pushed him down on the bed and took his already hard cock into her mouth, expertly sucking and licking him. It was very pleasureable-but something was missing…
“Stop”, he said.
Surprised, she looked up? Stop? No one had ever stopped her before-was she doing something wrong?
“Let’s slow down. Just listen,” he said.
He laid her on the bed and his fingers began to trace very slow meanderings upon her belly. She reached up to stroke his chest.
“Just wait,” he interrupted. He caught her hand and placed it on the bed.
What on earth was he doing?
He continued to trace the circles and her mind was filled with questions.
“Just listen,” he whispered.
“Listen to what?” she wondered.
She began, lacking anything else to do, to pay attention to his fingers on her belly. As she paid attention to the sensations she felt, she began to notice the intensity—for lack of a better word—with which he touched her.
He seemed completely focused on his fingers, as if he was listening to her body through them somehow. Slowly, he moved them up to trace ever so delicately the bottom curve of her breasts.
She found herself letting out an involuntary moan accompanied by a whole body shiver. He was only stroking her—seemingly like many men had done before—yet this had an unusual feeling about it. It seemed not only pleasant…it was right. But right how? And how did he know?
As John continued to gently trace her body, moving over her nipples, caressing her face and her neck, she began to feel as if each part of her were somehow awakening as he ever-so-delicately caressed it.
As he progressed, his movements became slightly faster and with more pressure where it felt good. Again, it wasn’t so much a plan of his as listening for where the next, right place to touch was.
Soon, Sarah noticed that she was breathing deeply in and out-and her body was rolling in waves as the energy—there was no other word for it—flowed through her. His movements were not controlling, but seemed to guide the energy that was flowing through her body through no conscious effort of her own.
Their interaction continued, in every moment it was guided by the principle of presence, listening, and following the energy.
Not performance. He wasn’t there to ‘please’ her.
She wasn’t there to ‘satisfy’ him.
It wasn’t about intellect. They weren’t acting out some fantasy together.
Even as they made love, the lovemaking took on its own rhythm as the bodies seemingly glided together in motions that required no attention, planning, or thought.
It seemed like it lasted forever.
Their connection deepened, afterwards they lay silently and looked into each other’s eyes…
As we engage in conscious sex, we create a connection to ourselves and our partners that we may never have imagined was possible.
Like nursing a baby, it requires no special training or skills. In fact, it requires dropping much of what we have learned or are convinced is true about sexuality.
It requires deep listening. First to oneself. Then to the other. Only then can we begin to deeply connect in a conscious way in the bedroom.
– Bayraba Ven