Monthly Archives: March 2017

Foundations of Erotically Inclusive Community

Venus and Mars UniteWhat we will prove here:

  1. The purpose of all relating (communication/sensual interaction) is to meet human needs. – Self-evident
  2. Community was previously a support for meeting needs within traditional couple relationships and many other forms of relating as well. (Through religion, society, etc.)
  3. Community is either absent or rapidly disappearing for many people. (Displacement, breakdown of religious of societal structures).
  4. The “State” is currently performing many of the functions that were previously fulfilled by community, in a much less effective way. (Morality of state: CPS, ‘Divorce Court”…all enforced via violence.)
  5. Conventional dating doesn’t work, primarily because of the death of meaningful community. (Lack of context/structure, responsibility) It devolves into manipulation from one or both sides at some point.
  6. Many needs which are best fulfilled in community are currently being offloaded to the new (failed?) invention of the 1930’s-50’s: the ‘Nuclear’ family.
  7. Pressures on the nuclear family lacking community support almost always doom it to failure, regardless of whether it continues or not.
  8. The outcome of dating, even if “successful” is often extremely hazardous with only the State as arbiter of the relationship (and the third party to it).
  9. Many of the needs seeking fulfillment in sexual and romantic relating can actually best be met in community (security with freedom, creativity, etc)
  10. Restoration of structured community is our best bet for meeting more needs.
  11. More people = more resources to meet needs.
  12. In addition, communities of the future can take more responsibility for meeting needs of participants. Survival and safety being less urgent, more energy can be spent on ‘higher-level’ needs.
  13. Sensual, sexual, erotic, and intimate needs of people can be met in community.

We are dedicated to creating a sex/sensuality/intimacy-positive, friendly, open community.

Sexuality is one of, if not the driving force of humankind

In a community like this, we don’t shy away from, or run from sexual interaction.

The body is seen as sacred and beautiful, and we don’t fear it being used or abused by others. We create a safe context for sexual, sensual, and intimate interaction.

This does not necessarily mean that we allow every possible sexual interaction that anyone ever wants to have with us, but within the community that we encourage expressions and connection through sexuality.

The key to all these interactions is, first, to see sex and sexuality as energy and energetic exchange.

If the energy of sex and sexuality does not flow freely, there will be a limit to energy within the system that has manifested the sickness of the world you see around you.

This shows up as physical and psychological illness within humans. Environmental degradation and destruction. War and strife. Competition and division within communities, families, and individuals.

Hunger, poverty, economic inequality, gender and race strife, and every other issue that faces humanity comes from a fundamental lack of flow of basic energies including sexuality.

If you would shift that world, you must allow energy to flow freely within and through you.

In our interaction, the only things that we can do to serve us are to stimulate our consciousness and our energy. We do so with the understanding that our meaning and purpose is to create a better world of togetherness and love.

The simplest, easiest, most powerful way to access massive energy flow within yourself is to open yourself to ecstatic states within your own body, and to enable others to do the same thing in their bodies.

For this reason, we do not wish to concentrate on pathologies and returning to a state of equilibrium. We wish to focus on bliss and ‘ecstacisity’ as a path to transcendence and freedom.

If you no longer wish to live the existing paradigms which have been proven inadequate over and over again, instead opting for the transcendent reality of abundance which none of us has ever experienced, join us.

What are your true needs?

No child should leave school without having an understanding of their own and others’ fundamental human needs.

Yet, in conventional education, this topic is ignored at best, and suppressed at worst.

Did you learn what your fundamental human needs were in school? Can you provide a list of your fundamental needs now?

I certainly couldn’t back then. It is taken me years of study to find that there has been much research done about fundamental human needs. And this is incredibly important, because understanding fundamental human needs will help to interact successfully and  receive what we want from others.

Manfred Max-Neef has the best list of needs that I have found so far.

Although it is easy to come up with a list of 50 needs in any group, he has digested them down to only nine different categories.

Max-Neef classifies the fundamental human needs as:

  • subsistence,
  • protection,
  • affection,
  • understanding,
  • participation,
  • leisure,
  • creation,
  • identity and
  • freedom.

Reducing your basic needs down to a list of nine makes it much easier to consider which needs are being met and are not being met and to take action to get them met.

It takes interaction with others to meet many of these needs.

Here at Peaceful Living, we believe that by playing together, we can more effectively meet our own and each others’ needs.

Sign up for our newsletter now to learn more about our events to help you meet your needs.

From Chaos and Loneliness to Effective Community

True Tribe of LoveEvery single person has not been raised nonviolently must be treated as a wild animal.

They’re completely violent, out of touch with their own needs, afraid of being used and mistreated, unable to ask for what they want, unable to recognize when they do get what they want, And in many ways far worse than the wild beasts.

This isn’t their fault.
Even someone who has healed much and is highly skilled in communication will find it extremely difficult to relate to these creatures in any constructive manner.

They come from a situation where most of the rules were provided in childhood. Even those who claim to been raised in a very open manner will have been socialized with violence the point that most of their natural feelings and instincts have been completely suppressed.

Some mistakingly feel that they have been raised in an open manner, however, had they truly been raised in an open free manner in this society, there is little chance they would have reached adulthood. At the very least, they would’ve been incarcerated.

There is almost no way to grow up in an atmosphere of violence without having it permeate  us deeply.

During young adulthood, they try to find themselves, but without any fundamental understanding of their feelings and needs, they wander strange paths and are often lost.

Like the Amish children were encouraged to rumspringa when they become adults, they err on the side of too much, thinking that their needs will now be met through crazy behavior, but having no guide to a happy way.

This false dichotomy obscures true freedom.

Thus “straight is the gate and narrow is the way the leads to life, and few there be that find it.”

Attempting a relationship with someone who has no relationship with themselves is a very difficult endeavor. Compounding the issue is a lack of support which existed somewhat in previous generations through the local community or through family who lived close by.

And, with our societal “don’t ask don’t tell” policy of hiding our weaknesses and failures from others, it is even more difficult.

Because we are taught that the world is fundamentally competitive, we will hide our weaknesses in order to appear more powerful and procure survival resources.

We have been trained in “survival of the fittest” and told that those who wish to get ahead must be better than other people.

All this makes healthy relationships virtually impossible.

And this is to say nothing of relationship duress, lack of healthy relating examples, and lack of positive encouragement.

If we achieved our true power, we would pay no obeisance either to our political leaders, or to the “priests” who run society, be they actual religious leaders, or their proxies today: the medical establishment of psychologists and psychiatrists.

Our cues of what is healthy and normal are taught by those to control the mental health establishments, organizations created to control and direct human behavior.

And they are strongly influenced by financial interests, such as the pharmaceutical industry.

These powers have an interest in the functioning of society (to profit from), but not in the individual power and creativity of the members thereof.

This means of the information we receive about relating, connecting to our true power and inner authority, and our real authenticity is obfuscated in just about every way one can imagine.

This dominant culture surrounds us, like water does fish.

It takes almost a miracle for someone to discover the truth of relating, connection, and happiness in this environment.

So what is the solution?

The solution is to create a space of positive relating and healthy community, where support is provided to the “poor misled” above and beyond the nuclear family (an invention dating only back to the early 20th-century).

The typical mother and father+children household (even worse, a single mother or single father household) has an unnatural lack of redundance.

This is even more pronounced when there are children. If one of the two partners becomes incapacitated , a full 50% of the energy that was available to procure survival resources and support children is lost.

In single-parent households, a loss of the parent would result in a 100% loss of survival and child-rearing resources.

In the current societal structures, based on the hamster wheel of ever increasing responsibility and heavy debt of financial obligations, this structure is unsustainable.

It is true that the state can step in to help alleviate some of the financial burden, however there is little sensitivity available in the state to care for the complex emotional, spiritual, and creative needs of those in the family.

Why have we created such fragile structures for the most important missions of our species: creating happiness for all family members and fostering and environment for the successful upbringing of children? Especially when we understand how to create triply-redundant systems for airplanes that fly over oceans and continents?

It makes no logical sense except as a control mechanism.

Therefore, the only solution is to create a more redundant system of energetic support, more than the simple nuclear family.

After breakup of the extended family and the local community due to “moving where the work is” and destruction of ‘mutual support societies’, general disillusionment with spiritual systems provided the deathblow to any support the family had beyond its nuclear structure.

Every community, every tribe must have its rules and regulations. It must have a way that it functions and maintains order and unity in the group, as well as supporting the members in the group in getting their needs met.

The state is simply too large and unwieldy a structure for doing this in any meaningful fashion.

Therefore it remains for each person to decide to foster, create, support, and benefit from a central tribe or community that he or she chooses, fitting his or her values for the successful redundant support of meeting his or her own needs and those for whom he or she is responsible.

Due to the fact that humans have identical needs, it should be possible to create an unlimited number of tribes that can have their own specific rules and systems to support like-minded individuals in meeting these needs. In addition, these tribes should be able to support children more effectively by providing a multitude of models of successful behavior in the world, as well as redundant systems of procuring resources, ensuring protection and survival, education, outlets for creativity, and the fulfilling of all other human needs

The many abortive attempts and false starts in this direction only provide meaningful information to how to successfully create the tribe or community that does this.

Solving All Problems via Energy and Consciousness

Energy And ConsciousnessIf we are dissatisfied with anything in life, it is due to one of only two reasons.

Either we have insufficient consciousness to handle the problem, or we have insufficient energy to solve it.

Often, women/female bodied have more access to the energetic realms in life. And men/male bodied have more access to consciousness.

Insufficient consciousness can manifest a number of ways. Perhaps we don’t realize there is a problem, perhaps we don’t realize the problem can be solved, perhaps we don’t realize that we have access to resources to solve the problem. And so on.

If we are in the desert dying of thirst, and we don’t realize that there is water nearby, or we believe that a mirage is really water, these problems of consciousness can prevent us from solving our problem.

Or, if we don’t realize that there is a way to quit smoking or to lose weight, then these would be problems of consciousness as well.

However, the issue that we very often face is that we have insufficient energy to solve a problem.

We have an understanding of what would be required to quit smoking or to lose weight, but we don’t feel that we have the energy to do so.

We understand some steps that could be taken to positively impact environment, but we don’t feel we have the energy to make that happen.

We have ideas about dealing with poverty and hunger, but we don’t have the energy in our lives to make changes in the world.

Our ‘real lives’ keep us so busy, so tired, so energy-less, that we simply cannot take real steps to change either within nor without.

And, how do we as human beings receive energy? What did those people do who accomplished amazing things that is different from you and I?

What secret or forbidden sources of energy did these people have access to that we do not?

Because raising our energy and consciousness will have a transformational effect on individuals and society, this natural universal tendency threatens whatever status quo exists within human groups. This threat is therefore minimized via numerous covert and overt methods.

Controlling the consciousness of a group of people can be done by controlling education, limiting access to information and knowledge, reducing opportunities to learn, access to powerful teachers and trainers et cetera.

Entire social systems are created to do just that. Money is also used as a way to prevent knowledge from flowing freely.

Without societal controls, information, knowledge, techniques, training, and teachers will flow freely between people. In addition, people can be shown how to receive access to more information on deeper levels within themselves.

This would provide a natural process for raising consciousness as time continues.

Limiting the energy of the population is also done in many ways.

Left in their natural state, energy will flow in various forms within humans, between humans and within groups of humans, and between humans and their environment.

People will tend to greater and greater energy. Again, this represents a threat to the status quo.

The first three forms of energy that are bridled in human beings by society (during childhood) are: free and unstructured movement, deep breathing, and strong vocalized sound.

Restricting access to clean water and air, energetically powerful food, sunshine, adequate rest and relaxation, and opportunities to exercise are also used to reduce the energy of a population.

Many of these and other energetic exchanges within society are moderated by the flow of money, thus reducing many types of energetic exchange.

Perhaps most importantly, the free flow of sexual energy within individuals, and between two or more people is strongly limited as well. Sexuality is one of if not the strongest form of energy that is exchanged between people. Morality is one way these limits are achieved.

Teaching that specific sexual practices are wrong or bad, or that certain practices will be damaging to society can prevent individuals from receiving full access to this extremely powerful source of energy.

This “sexual morality” is created and enforced in an authoritarian fashion by “those in power”.

Once sexual morality began to be questioned, additionally creative means are utilized to control this energy within the population, such as fear of illnesses, fear of unwanted pregnancy, fear of sexual violence, etc.

Watch for those practices in society which are shrouded in fear, uncertainty, and doubt as well as those things that are being enforced by blame, shame, guilt, punishment, threat, or rewards to see where the force of authoritarianism is modifying behavior.

Also watch those people that seem to have a lot of energy, consciousness, and personal power. You will notice that they ignore the taboos that society creates to reduce access to energy. They will have little fear of using methods, systems, or substances to enhance their energy or their consciousness, and their sexual practices will not be limited to those approved of be society.

This is true in virtually all cases.

If we would be the ones accomplishing things with great power and an abundance of energy and consciousness, we must do the same thing.

We must not accept any limits to our consciousness, knowledge, or understanding. We must also break down all barriers within and without to the free flow of energy.

This is the only way to find happiness, get our needs met, and solve our own problems and those of the world around us.